The Heart of the Matter in Relational Conflict

Order of Service

• Call to Worship — Hebrews 10:19-25
• Hymn — Arise, My Soul, Arise (#275)
• Prayer of Invocation
• Heidelberg Catechism — Lord's Day 37, Questions 101–102
• Hymn of the Month — The Song of Zechariah (#294)
• Pastoral Prayer
• Scripture Reading — James 4:1-10
• Sermon
• Hymn — Thou Who Wast Rich Beyond All Splendor (#324)
• Benediction — Numbers 6:24-26

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Sermon Title: The Heart of the Matter in Relational Conflict

Scripture: James 4:1-10

I. The Root of Our Relational Conflicts

A. James diagnoses the heart as the source of conflict among believers

1. Conflict is traced throughout Scripture: Adam blaming Eve, Cain killing Abel, Miriam and Aaron against Moses, Saul against David, and the disciples arguing over greatness
2. The New Testament church, though beginning with an idyllic picture in Acts 2:44-46, quickly descended into jealousy and strife — as seen in 1 Corinthians 3 and Galatians 5:15

B. Sinful passions (Greek: hēdonē, the root of "hedonism") are at war within us — James 4:1

1. Both external conflict between members of the body and internal conflict within a person's own heart
2. The double-minded person (cf. James 4:8) may be at war within before ever fighting with another

C. Covetous desires lead to hatred and murder of the heart — James 4:2

1. Jesus teaches in the Sermon on the Mount that hatred in the heart precedes outward murder
2. Quarreling is a symptom; the root issue is the unaddressed condition of the heart

D. Selfish prayer reveals misdirected desire — James 4:3

1. God is not a blank check; he knows our real motives when we ask
2. Prayer offered in the midst of conflict, seeking only to win, is prayer offered wrongly

E. Friendship with the world is enmity with God — James 4:4

1. Feeding sinful desires reveals worldliness and spiritual adultery
2. One cannot serve both God and selfish ambition; cf. the impossibility of serving both God and money

II. The Remedy for Our Relational Conflicts

A. The remedy begins with the Lord's character — James 4:5

1. God breathed life into man — Genesis 2:7; he breathes new spiritual life into his people — Ezekiel 37
2. God is a jealous God who yearns for the singular devotion of his people; he will not share their hearts with the world

B. The remedy is the Lord's abounding grace — James 4:6

1. Quoting Proverbs 3:34: God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble
2. Grace is not a reward for our humility; humility itself is a gift of grace wrought by God
3. The grace of the gospel, centered on Jesus, does not merely treat symptoms — it goes to the root of the heart's problem, breaking the power of reigning sin and freeing his people

C. The remedy comes through the Lord's exhortations — James 4:7-10

1. Seven to nine rapid exhortations, summarized as a call to repentance in response to grace
2. Submit to God — humble yourself under his authority; repentance flows first in the vertical relationship with God
3. Resist the devil — be aware of Satan's schemes; he stirred pride in the garden and continues to stoke conflict today; we fight with the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-17) and the word of God, the weapon Christ used against the devil in the wilderness
4. Draw near to God — only through Christ, who is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6); he who is heavy laden may come to Jesus and find rest (Matthew 11:28)
5. Cleanse your hands and purify your hearts — mourn and weep over sin; a true knowledge of our condition before the eternal, holy God leads to godly sorrow
6. Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you — James 4:10; there is no need to jostle with neighbors for honor or status; boasting belongs only in Christ (cf. Galatians 6:14)

D. Our relationship with our fellow man flows from our relationship with God

1. Christ is the living example of humility — he who was rich became poor (2 Corinthians 8:9)
2. Grace received from God produces humility toward brothers and sisters in Christ
3. This is the fruit of faith lived out in our relationships — walking humbly before God and neighbor