Courtship

Order of Service

• Sermon
• Closing Prayer

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Sermon Title: Courtship

Scripture: Song of Solomon 2:8–3:5

I. Introduction and Review

A. Song of Solomon is God's instruction on attraction, dating, marriage, sex, and conflict in marriage B. One of only two biblical books that does not mention God by name, yet marriage is fully understood only in light of Christ and his church C. Written as poetry by Solomon — the title "Song of Songs" means it is the most prominent song D. Previous lesson covered most of chapter 1 and the opening verses of chapter 2, focusing on attraction

1. Physical attraction is important and God-designed, but character should be considered first
2. The woman stands out among many because of her character, not her outward status
3. Love compared to wine — capable of great pleasure and great harm without discipline

II. The Excitement and Energy of Courtship — Song of Solomon 2:8–13

A. He comes "leaping over the mountains, bounding over the hills" — imagery of a gazelle or young stag whose four feet leave the ground simultaneously, conveying intense excitement and energy B. The shift in dynamic: earlier the woman sought to attract his attention; now he is actively pursuing her C. The imagery of spring replacing winter

1. Winter: dormancy, cold, short days, difficulty moving — a season God often uses for trial and preparation
2. Spring: new growth, activity, color, beauty — the couple's outlook on life, not merely a literal season
3. God often leads his people through wilderness before the promised land; growth happens even in winter seasons we do not understand

III. The Awkwardness of Early Courtship — Song of Solomon 2:9, 2:14

A. He stands behind the wall gazing through the windows rather than meeting her face to face — excitement without knowing what to say B. Verse 14: "Let me see your face, let me hear your voice" — she (or he) is hiding in the cliffs and caves, some distance and shyness in the relationship C. A note on translation: speaker attributions (he/she/friends) are not original to the text; translators infer them from pronoun gender, so ambiguity is genuine and intentional

IV. The Little Foxes — Song of Solomon 2:15

A. The vineyard is used both literally and metaphorically throughout the song B. The foxes represent small troubles, annoyances, and dangers that can spoil a budding relationship — the three commentators consulted each offer different identifications, suggesting intentional ambiguity

1. Possible meanings: personal irritants discovered as the couple grows closer, sexual temptation, other barriers to honoring God in the relationship
2. Not a herd of elephants — small damage, not total destruction C. Courtship is a time to learn whether two people can face and resolve small problems together
3. If small conflicts cannot be navigated now, the larger trials of marriage will be far more difficult
4. We tend to overlook defects during the excitement of courtship; this is precisely when we should be paying attention

V. Covenant Language and Increasing Desire for Commitment — Song of Solomon 2:16–17

A. "My beloved is mine and I am his" — covenantal language pointing toward marriage as a covenant

1. Echoes God's covenant declaration: "They shall be my people and I will be their God"
2. Anticipates Christ's high-priestly prayer for unity B. They are not yet married, but the relationship is moving toward oneness — an increased desire for exclusive mutual possession C. As courtship progresses, desire for commitment naturally and appropriately increases, which will also increase sexual desire

VI. The Anxiety of Courtship — Song of Solomon 3:1–4

A. Most interpreters read this as a dream or imaginative scenario, a window into the woman's thought life as the relationship nears marriage B. She seeks him and cannot find him — expressing fear that he might leave before a lifelong covenant is made C. She runs through the city at night with disregard for caution, reflecting how he has become her sole focus and she can no longer feel at ease alone

1. The relationship has progressed to the point where she wants to be permanently with him
2. This uncertainty is part of God's good design — courtship is a time of testing, and bypassing it through premature sexual intimacy or cohabitation adds insecurity rather than reducing it D. "I held him" (verse 4) uses the same verb as "catch" in verse 15 — she holds him fast, fearing loss E. Bringing him to her mother's house likely carries a double meaning: introducing him to her family and seeking parental approval, and metaphorically expressing the desire to be like her mother — married with children of her own
3. The father is absent throughout Song of Solomon for this woman; her brothers fulfill the father-figure role
4. The language of conception points to her desire for a family

VII. The Warning: Do Not Awaken Love Prematurely — Song of Solomon 3:5

A. Closely parallels Song of Solomon 2:7 — the cold-water warning follows immediately after the peak of sexual tension, just as in chapter 2 B. There is a point of no return in a relationship where self-restraint becomes impossible if desire has been stirred inappropriately C. Sexual desire is natural and God-designed — it is a good thing — but dangerous in a fallen world D. The language of this warning will change after the wedding; for now, the restraint is essential and intentional

VIII. Conclusion: Courtship as Testing and Its Christological Dimension

A. Courtship is a time of testing: Can this couple face life together? Can they catch the little foxes? Can they resolve conflict?

1. Increasing emotional connection and desire to be together are healthy signs
2. Inability to resolve small conflicts in springtime is a serious warning sign about the future of the relationship B. Courtship involves both excitement and frustration; the tension and awkwardness are not signs that something is wrong but are part of God's design for this season C. The broader gospel application: the church is currently in a courtship with Christ
3. We are told we will one day attend the marriage supper of the Lamb, but that wedding has not yet occurred — Revelation 19:9
4. Like the woman fearing her beloved might leave, we sometimes fear Christ might leave us — but unlike her uncertainty, we are assured beyond doubt that the wedding will come
5. Present trials and winter seasons are preparation for the joy of the coming marriage of Christ and his church
6. This is the mystery of the gospel